Pursue What Matters
Episode 61: Goal Check: The Year is 1/2 Done, How’re You Doing On Your Goals?
Please excuse any typos, transcripts are generated by an automated service
Dr. Melissa Smith 0:00
Can you believe we are halfway through 2020? Oh, my goodness this year has thrown us for a loop. And I know many of us may want a refund on 2020. But guess what that check is not coming in the mail? Well, you know, maybe you’ve gotten a check in the mail. But 2020 is only halfway through, and you set some goals. And so today we are going to do a goal check that year is halfway done. How are you doing on your goals?
Dr. Melissa Smith 0:31
Hi, I’m Dr. Melissa Smith, welcome to the pursue what matters podcast where we focus on what it takes to thrive in love and work. Oh, my goodness, what a challenging year. So I hope you started the year off with some goals. And now it is time to check in and see how you are doing on them. And boy, what a rollercoaster year. And if you’re like most people, maybe you want a refund, maybe you said you know what the heck, like I’m just throwing out all the goals. I’m just gonna wait, I’m gonna wait this year out. And I’m gonna, I’m gonna see what happens next year, I hope that you didn’t do that, I hope that you have not abandoned your goals. And I hope that you are continuing to keep your eye on your mountain peak. So if you listen to my three part series at the beginning of the year, which I will link to for your benefit. I have talked about, you know, keeping your eye on your mountain, peak your vision of what you want in your life. And that that is so, so important, especially in challenging times. And my goodness, what a challenging time we have had. And you know, when we are being thrown for a loop, when life is, is so incredibly challenging. This is where vision and purpose and meaning and goals matter more than ever. It’s also when flexibility matters, you got to be willing to pivot you’ve got to be willing to, to alter your course. But still keep your eyes on your ultimate destination. And so I really, really hope that you have not abandoned your goals, I hope that you are still paying attention to the goals that you’ve set for yourself at the beginning of this year, I hope you are still making steady progress. And I think this is the perfect time we’re halfway through the year to really do a goal check in. And so that’s what we’re going to be talking about. And I’ve got a really great resource for you. It is at the goal checkpoint, five PS to keep you on your path. And so I hope that you will go ahead and download this resource. And it will take you through this process to really help you see where you’re at, see where you’re at on this path. Because you know this, this is quite a journey this year. And if you’re like most of us, you will need to alter your course. I mean, I certainly have my goals have shifted this year, I’ve had to make some changes, I’ve had to make some alterations, I’ve added some goals, I’ve had to shift some other goals. And that is just in recognition of the reality that we live in. Because some of the goals have not been possible, given the global pandemic. I mean, who knew right? Who knew in January, that that’s what we would be facing. But what is true is that our vision and our purpose and our meaning should not shift, even when storms are raging. And so that’s what we really want to focus on today. Our goals really matter. So Mark Twain, one of our great Americans, great American philosopher, of course, great American writer, but really, I think a great American philosopher, said without dreams and goals, there is no living, only merely existing. And that is not why we are here. And I think that you know, when we hit trouble times, and you know, when we kind of I kind of joke about like waiting for the refund on 2020 and just kind of writing, writing 2020 out. Unfortunately, that’s kind of what can happen. People just kind of move into laying low and it’s like I’m just I’m just going to write this one out. And if you’re not careful you abandon your goals. And I just want to remind you and you know, of course this is the wisdom from Mark Twain is that this is not why we are here, we are here to pursue what matters, we are here to move forward in the direction of our dreams and in the pursuit of vision and purpose. And so I hope that this can be a good goal check in point for you. So, of course, if you’ve listened to any of the podcasts, you know, I’m super geeky about goal setting. At the beginning of 2020, I did a three part series on goal setting, you know, why it matters, how to get after it, and how not to be overwhelmed by it. And so I hope that, you know, if you listen to those podcasts, that three part series, that it really did help to start 2020 off, right. And then, of course, we had the black hole of 2020. And it’s it’s been it’s been a challenge.
Dr. Melissa Smith 6:00
But, of course, like I mentioned, I’ll link to those podcasts. And I really, you know, as I reflect back on those podcasts, I think that, that the vision and the purpose, and connecting with potential are more important than ever. And so if you haven’t had a chance to listen to those, you know, I do think it can be worth your time to realign. And to really think about, okay, what does matter. And so I just want to review really quickly, that three part series, so if you haven’t had the chance to listen, you kind of know what, what the context is, as we move forward with this episode. So part one really focuses on the big questions. So I want you to think of I’ve already alluded to it already. But I want you to think of part one as the mountain and you know, as I come to you today, with the podcast, I am staring at an incredible majestic mountain. I have beautiful mountain views from my office in Utah, and I am looking up at Mountain timpanogos, which is the second largest mountain in Utah. It is incredible. I try and climb this mountain every summer, it takes all day. And let me tell you, you know, you have climbed a mountain. And as you get to the top of the mountain, you see incredible views of two beautiful valleys. And there are cirques, there are lakes, there are mountain goats, you can slide it down snowfields, you meet a lot of people, there are rock fields that you need to scramble up. And it’s it’s beautiful, and it’s challenging. And you know, you have climbed that mountain. And there are lots of twists and turns on that. So Part one is the mountain, it is your vision for your life. And it’s really essential that you have clarity of purpose, so that you know where you are heading. And when you are climbing a mountain, you always keep that summit that peak in mind, because there will be twists and turns. So if you can’t see the mountain in the distance, it will be very difficult for you to find your way. And so that when that first part of the series, we really focused on how to help you get clear on your vision and your purpose. So that you can be crystal clear about where you are going and why it matters. Now think about that, in the context of where we’re at now, in 2020, everything has been blown to hell. And it can be so easy to feel overwhelmed, to feel hopeless and to feel helpless and to say, I can’t reach my goals. And I want you to know that that is not true. Now you may need to get really creative. You may need to lengthen out the timeline, you may need to ask for help. You may you may need to shift some of those goals and that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. But if you were clear about vision, if you were clear about purpose, if you’re clear about where you’re going and why it matters, do not abandon your goals. Do not abandon your goals. And then Part Two focuses on the path. And the message with part two is that you cannot let your dreams ruin your life. Which kind of sounds a little crazy, but let me tell you it’s true. Especially for those of us who are high achieving high pushing leaders and just people in our life I, I use leaders because I want you to think of yourself as a leader. And I think too many of us do not think of ourselves as leaders. And yet, if you stop and think about it, you’re leading in so many areas of your life. And this world needs leaders, we need you leading, we need your voice, we need you stepping up. And so I want you to think of yourself as a leader. But
Dr. Melissa Smith 10:32
you can’t let your dreams ruin your life. And I gotta tell you, like, I’m speaking from experience, this is a hard one for me, because I often, often in danger of letting my dreams ruin my life. So the way that that comes about for me, most often, is I work too hard, and too often at the expense of my well being at the expense of family time. And that is that is an Achilles heel, that I often and not often that I would say daily have to manage. It’s a hard one for me. And part of that. So I say it’s my Achilles heel, because I think one of my I would say one of my strengths is my passion, and my sense of purpose. And I’m so deeply grateful for that. And so I jump in, and I jump in with both feet. And I, I just feel so strongly about the work I’m engaged in, but it becomes an Achilles heel, when I fail to step away, when I fail to step back, and rest and recover, or say like, okay, like, let’s, let’s take, let’s take a break. Now. It’s time to it’s time to back away from the computer screen, or it’s time to take a break from the office. And so, you know, when you think about the path, you can’t let your dreams ruin your life, and you can’t have that single minded focus on the goal, destroy your sense of purpose. And that can happen for a lot of us that are goal driven. So the path is all about having flexibility, full flexibility, that’s a big one. And recognizing that our path unfolds in front of us, and that we really, this is so big, this I am preaching to myself, I gotta tell you that. So we we teach what we what we need to learn. So I’m just that there’s there’s some self disclosure for you, but recognizing that our path unfolds in front of us. And we must learn to trust the timing of our path. So there’s no way to know the end from the beginning. And so for those of us who are control freaks, right, I’m talking to you, I’m talking to me, I’m totally talking to me, moving along the path can be painful at times, because we have such rigid expectations about how our life should be proceeding. Now think about that, in the context of 2020, and where we’re at now, you may have set some big goals for yourself back in January. And again, they may have been blown to hell, here in July of 2020. And if you have rigid expectations about where you should have been by now, in July, you could be in great danger of letting your dreams or your goals, ruin your life, you could feel like a failure. You could feel judged, you could feel shame, you could feel like I’m not where I need to be without being able to take a step back and appreciate that your path is the path. And that you know every mountain path has twists and turns that there are oak trees in the middle of the path, that there are streams that cross your path, that there are global pandemics that cross your path that you could not have planned for that you could not have anticipated. And what is your work, your work is to be steady to remain steady on the path. Despite the challenges of the path. The path is never going to be steady. That’s life. That’s the nature of life. Life is always going to be challenging. But how can you remain steady? How can you hold your dreams lightly? How can you hold your goals lightly and care about them? care deeply and passionately about them, but not let your goals or your dreams define you, they can’t define you, you have value and worth outside of your dreams and your goals, you’ve got to have flexibility on your path, it is the only way to move forward. If you if you strangle your goals, they will ruin your life, you will you’ll, you’ll be unhappy, you’ll make others around you miserable. And it’s just completely unnecessary. So, you know, the problem is that we tend to believe there’s an owner’s manual, and our life is not is not following it according to plan. So that’s what part two of the three part series really focuses on. And then of course, in part three, I really focused on priorities. And I addressed this little truth, which can be such a factor when it comes to goal setting. And that is that goal setting. And having big goals can be so incredibly overwhelming. And so with part three, I really worked to break everything down from that three part podcast series so that you could really move into 2020 confidently with some goals, but without the pressure without the overwhelm and without the guilt. And so that was really the focus of the three part series. That was the hope I had some good resources for you on that. And so, if you haven’t listened to that three part series, it’s not too late. I mean, you can, you can do that work whenever you don’t have to do that in January. So if that can be helpful, I would definitely encourage you to go back to that series, I will link to that series in the show notes here. And then again, I have a great resource for you for this episode, which is a gold check five piece to keep you on your path. Because of course, we need to be flexible on that path. And then of course, every week with a podcast, one of the goals that I have for you is to help you to develop the confidence to lead because I firmly believe that you are meant to lead that we need your voice we need you, we need your leadership. And so I each week, I want to help you strengthen your confidence to lead in one of three areas. So we have leading with clarity, which is all about pursuing purpose and having clarity around vision, and goals and purpose. And leading with curiosity, which is all about cultivating self awareness and self leadership, and really understanding yourself so that you can lead effectively. So your own stuff doesn’t get in the way because that can often be the biggest barrier to effective leadership. And then the third area is leading and building community, because you’ve got to know how to lead others effectively. And so as we think about the podcast today, primarily this goal check is around helping you lead with clarity, right, we’re really focusing on keeping you on track on your path with your goals. Okay, so you know, we, we have it all set up, we had our three part series. And then of course, 2020 happened, that that little global pandemic, which of course, threw everyone for a loop.
Dr. Melissa Smith 18:47
And definitely, there was no way to anticipate everything that has happened in 2020. And then, of course, on the hills of COVID, we are dealing with major racism issues in the US and beyond, as we work to come to grips with what this means for how we live and work. And of course, we’ve had major racism issues in our nation and in our world for a long time. But they are really, you know, bubbling to the surface more than ever, with, with recent events. And of course, I’ve recently covered that on a podcast, and we’ll be addressing that more. So, you know, we’ve just had so much going on. And then of course, clearly that’s, you know, especially with COVID that’s creating all of these economic impacts for the way that we live in work. And so we have an incredible domino effect exponential impacts across many, many domains. And so what does this mean for your life and your life? leadership, what does it mean for your goals? And how have you had to pivot? You know, I think I’m personally really sick of that word. I mean, I’ve used it a lot. So I’m totally guilty of using that word. There’s been an awful lot of pivoting in 2020. I’m kind of dizzy, I’m kind of sick of pivoting. And, you know, sometimes I think it’s just a nice way of saying, There’s no freakin way we’re meeting any of our goals in 2020. And so we’ve just, we’ve just got to deal, right, we’ve just got to find a way to carry on. So I have got a really hard question for you today that I hope you can look at. Have you abandoned your goals in a wash of excuses? Or are there legitimate reasons that you are not able to accomplish your 2020? goals? Okay, that’s a hard one. And I really, really hope that you will look at it. So I’m going to repeat it. This is the hard question for you today. Have you abandoned your goals in a wash of excuses? Or are there legitimate reasons, you are not able to accomplish your 2020 goals. So this is a serious gut check for all of us, the years halfway through, and it is not too late to salvage your goals, if that’s what needs to happen. So this is this is my hope for the podcast today is that you will do a serious gut check. And a serious goal check with yourself. So this is what I mean when I talk about self awareness, and self leadership, that you are willing to look at yourself that you’re willing to look in the mirror. And you’re willing to say, Okay, how am I lying to myself? How am I not? How am I not being honest? How am I being complacent with myself and giving myself a free pass. And I’m not making any assumptions that you’re doing that. But if we’re not careful if we’re not cultivating consistent, and I would say daily self awareness, where we have these gut checks where we’re asking ourselves these questions, the The truth is, we the path is one of entropy, the path is one that slides us in to complacency. Because these things are hard to grow. Is is challenging. To climb that mountain puts us on the incline, it requires us to be proactive, it requires effort, it requires diligence, it requires us to be proactive. And so if we do not have daily habits, that force us to look at ourselves, and to do the work of reviewing our goals and holding ourselves accountable. And doing these gut checks these gold checks to say, okay, am I lying to myself? Am I making excuses, the fact is like, you’re never gonna get to that mountain. And probably some of your goals are not going to be possible in 2020. And that’s probably true for many of us.
Dr. Melissa Smith 23:43
But you’ve got to go through the process and look at things and review them. And so, you know, I want to be really clear that, of course, 2020 is so challenging, so incredibly challenging, and it is creating some incredibly difficult realities for millions of people across the globe. And so I do not want to minimize that for one minute. So I want to be perfectly clear about that reality. I see this reality every day in my own business. I see it in the clients I work with, I see it in my own family, I am not immune to these realities. So I’m not trying to dismiss this. I’m not trying to minimize this reality at all. And yet, I also see a dynamic that it is all too common. When times get hard. And this is the dynamic individuals give up on themselves. They give up on themselves and they give up on their goals in the face of overwhelm. They see the headlines, they hear the fear mongering, and they believe it
Dr. Melissa Smith 24:59
they stop Working on their goals, they stop engaging in the daily actions, the daily behaviors, the daily, the daily gut checks, right? That will help them to remain steady in the face of overwhelm. And that will help them progress on their path. Don’t let that happen to you. You are not powerless in the face of overwhelm. That is my message to you, you have a choice. Right? You have you have some agency here, there are factors that are outside of your control. But not all factors are outside of your control. So consider today your check in point on your goals. So I really hope you’ll take some time and reflect on how you’re doing. So of course, I’m going to give you some recommendations and solutions to help you on your path. You can be successful, you can progress on your path. I know this is true. And this is the thing. What is what is so true about goal setting is that what you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. It is the process of evolution, it is the process of development. It is who you become in the process of goal achievement, that is from Henry David Thoreau. And it is true because you dig deep, and you figure out what you are made of. And of course, I have the resource to help you with this goal check with this gut check to really help you on that path.
Dr. Melissa Smith 26:41
So let’s jump in to some solutions. So I’m going to talk about the five P’s of goal review. So these are the five P’s to keep you on your path. Okay, so the first P is stick to your plan. So be true to your goals, you set them for a reason, right. And this is where we go back to vision and purpose and potential. So you set those goals for a reason, they were personally meaningful to you. So don’t abandon them. Now, just because the going is hard. So, you know, last week, I was in my accountability group. So I, I’ve talked about this, before I have an accountability group, it is good. It’s a weekly gut check for me. And we were talking about one of, we were talking about two options that I have in my business. And both of these. So these are both some business options that I have. There are options that I care deeply about. But they’re both going to take a lot of resources. So energy time funds. So I really need to be wise about how I, how I move forward on on these. And, you know, kind of where I landed, was, it kind of felt like I needed to table one of these business options in order to focus my efforts on the other business option. And so it kind of looked like the one that I was going to table was the option that at the outset of 2020 was my number one goal for 2020. My number one goal, and I talked about this in my accountability group, I talked about this with my team. It has been my number one goal for 2020. And as I talked about this, I talked this through with my accountability group. And they listened to me and I listened to myself. I just thought,
Dr. Melissa Smith 28:59
How on earth can I do this? How can I table this goal? Like what has changed from January to now? It’s not that this goal is less meaningful to me. It’s not that things on the ground have changed so much that I can’t do this. We’re still on track, we can still make this happen. And so as I talk this through, because I’ve been I’ve been laboring it in my mind. But it wasn’t until I talked it through with other people and heard myself speak it out loud, and was able to get feedback from them that I realized, no, I still care really deeply about this. And the only thing that was getting in the way, for me was fear. And there are still a lot of details that I got to figure out right like I got I got a lot of details that I need to figure out But what I realized in that moment is that I need to be true to this goal.
Dr. Melissa Smith 30:06
I set it for a reason, it’s personally meaningful to me. And I should not abandon it now. And as what became clear to me, is the reason I was tabling It was really mostly about fear. I had some other good reasons. But mostly, at the end of the day, it was about fear. Because it would be hard. And it would be scary. And so I made the decision to stick to the plan. And like, so many details I got to figure out, but stick to your plan be true to your goals. And so with that, I want you to review your goals daily, at a minimum, you’ve got to be reviewing them weekly, I look at my goals every single day. Because it’s very easy to slip into avoidance, and denial, if you’re not reviewing your goals daily. And let me just tell you, it can be painful to look at your goals daily, especially if you want to avoid them, especially if you’re like, Nah, it’s not that big of a deal. Or, you know, you’re coming up with excuses for why it doesn’t matter.
Dr. Melissa Smith 31:26
You will not want to look at those goals daily, which is why you must, which is why it’s really important. So you know, review your goals daily. At a minimum, look at them weekly. How are you doing? Are you off course? Where are you lying to yourself? Okay. The next thing under stick to your plan? Is there any connection between your daily actions and your annual goals? So what do you need to do to increase alignment between your daily actions and your annual goals, there should be a thread, there should be a connecting link between what you do on a daily basis and your annual goals. I talk about this a lot more in that three part series. So I won’t go into it in a lot of detail here. But you can learn a lot more about that in the three part series. And then what you need to do to increase your daily accountability, so that you do see that connecting link. So that is the first p stick to your plan. Respect your goals. Okay, so now the second P. And you’re going to love this because it’s that it’s that word we’re so tired of be willing to pivot. Okay, so be willing to pivot this may totally sound contradictory 2.1, but it’s not. So you just got to stick with me, hear me out. If as you look at the reality on the ground, you recognize that one of your goals is it’s just not feasible this year. Or you see that there is another goal, that is a ripe opportunity. Be willing to pivot.
Unknown Speaker 33:07
Dr. Melissa Smith 33:08
you’ve got to do your homework first. Right? Like you got to do your work. So do you have clarity about why you are pivoting? What is your rationale for the pivot? Are you simply avoiding the original goal due to a fear of failure? Right, because that’s a little bit of what was going on. For me, I had a lot of fear coming up. And so you’ve got to be willing to challenge yourself. And this is really the key. He’s got to seek feedback from others who are also willing to poke holes in your rationale, and seek feedback from people who you trust, who, who you know, have your best intentions in heart in mind, who, who can be direct with you, but who you know, care for you. Because then you can hear what they have to say. And they can write like, they don’t have to sugarcoat it, but they can also say it with love and you can let it in. And you know, that’s that’s something that my accountability group does. For me, that’s something that my husband does for me. That’s something that close friends do for me where it’s like, it can sting and it can it can be painful at times. But it’s like I so helpful. It’s so well and so immensely grateful for for the feedback given from from these individuals because I know that they care about me and I know they want me to be successful and I know they want what’s best for me. So you know as I looked at some of my goals for 2020 I can think of two of the goals on My list that like they just actually are not possible, because things have been closed down. Like, I just I can’t access some of the some of the things that I wish that I had on my goal list because like, buildings are shut down, or destinations are closed. And so, you know, in those situations I’ve had to pivot. And so it’s not that I abandon the goal entirely, but I’ve had to pivot those goals. And so what so for me, like for those specific goals, what, what was the, you know, what was the value or the need, or the desire or the purpose behind that goal, for instance, and are there ways that I can shift that goal, to connect with that value and to connect with that purpose. And so for instance, one of the goals was related to mindfulness, and meditation. And so I pivoted that goal, so that I can still make progress in that direction. But the goal is looks different, because it has had to, because right, like, I just, I can’t, I don’t have access to to this specific goal that I had in mind. So this is where we really think about flexibility on the path. And so if you think about some of your goals, in your business, perhaps you had some financial projections, and you’re going to have to adjust those projections, most likely, I mean, many of us do have to adjust those projections. But I think it’s also a really good time to get very creative. I know for us, in our business, we actually launched an online product during COVID. And we saw an opportunity that
Dr. Melissa Smith 37:02
that could meet the needs of our audience, and really add value to them. And it was a way that we could deliver meaningful services to our audience, in a virtual way. And so we were able to do that. And it’s something that strengthened our existing services. And so that was something that we did that we were willing to pivot and we had to be creative. And we had to, we had to move quickly and be nimble. And it’s made our team stronger and more effective. And so that’s, that’s been good. So we think about clarity about the use of resources. So think about team focus, time, capital, other resources. And then of course, the other thing that you always want to think about is a risk assessment of continued goal pursuit versus pivoting. And this is huge, this is so big, especially when we think about leading an organization. So this can really help increase your clarity about the risks of continuing with the goal, sometimes you have to cut your losses, and move on. So if you decide to pivot, determine what you are pivoting to. So you need to have an alternative. So getting out of the game is a risk in itself. You know, so if you say like, okay, we’re not going to do this anymore. You know, it’s a risk to keep doing what you’re doing, it’s a risk to get out of the game. So stepping out of the game is a risk not playing maybe the biggest risk of all. So what I would just say is when you decide to pivot, what are you pivoting to?
Dr. Melissa Smith 38:54
So what’s, what’s the alternative? And just recognizing that risk assessment is always part of that process. And so you’ve got to take that into consideration. And this is where you really, you know, if these are organizational decisions, use your team, make sure you’re not making these decisions in isolation. Okay, and the third P is remained steady on your path. So big goals can and often do frighten you. And of course, that can be even more true in on certain times, like, say, 2020, but don’t confuse fear with danger. They are not the same thing. Remind yourself that having big goals should be a big a bit frightening, right? I mean, I’d be surprised if your big goals didn’t scare you a little bit. And that’s not a reason not to have those goals. That’s not a reason to back away from them. It’s okay. So Henry Ford said one of the greatest discoveries A man makes one of his great surprises is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do. And I think that harkens back to what Thoreau said is that we discover who we are in the process of achieving our goals. And so it’s not the goal, accomplishment so much as who we become in the process. So Joe Vitale said, a goal should scare you a little and excite you a lot. And that’s, I think that’s a fair assessment. So assuming you’ve done your risk assessment above, remind yourself that you’ve done your homework, and it’s time to be still and be steady. So come up with a simple mantra to maybe help yourself to kind of calm yourself down in those moments when you’re feeling frightened by your goal. So you know, a mantra that I often use is, it’s time to be still and steady, might also use I can be steady on my path. Another one that I use is though the path is not steady, I can remain steady on the path. So I would just encourage you to come up with a mantra that that works for you, that can give that can help calm you, in the face of fear. As you consider your big goals that can help you to take the next step, we all need that encouragement, we need that encouragement from others, but we also need that encouragement from ourselves. And that is a large measure of self compassion, to be able to say, I’ve got your back, it’s okay, you can take the next step, we all need those words of encouragement. And we need them in our own mind and our own heart as well. As part of that we do not want to give into fear mongering. So you know, I’ve talked about this before in response to COVID. But you really need to be so wise in your consumption of media, as a lot of the media will really leave your head spinning, and will only amp up your anxiety. So I definitely would encourage you to be informed, but to be very wise about where you are getting your information from. So be judicious, in how much and how often you are taking in media. And I would just say less is more, and then just really be judicious about, you know, seeking reputable sources in terms of where you’re getting your information from. So that’s all I’ll say about that. And then what are the daily practices that keep you steady? So you know, we think about sleep, we think about exercise, we think about meditation, prayer, inspirational, leading, of course, I have a really excellent leading in Life and Leadership workshop course, that’s available on my website, this is such a good course for just helping you with these. So these really important foundational skills. And you know, so many of us don’t have these foundational skills dialed in. And then we wonder why we don’t get the higher order skills locked in. And it’s because we don’t have a secure foundation. And so, you know, we really want to think about the daily practices that help us to remain steady. So I will link to that course it’s on my website. So if you want to learn more about it, you can, but really think in terms of the daily practices that keep you steady on your path.
Dr. Melissa Smith 43:43
Okay, and then the fourth P is connect to purpose. And so you know, of course, your goal should always connect you to your higher purpose. Otherwise, what is the point, don’t just have goals to have them. If you can’t make that connection to purpose, then go back to the drawing board or just get rid of the goal. Because if it’s not connected to purpose, what’s the point? goals are hard, and even, even the best goals will leave you questioning whether they’re worth it, which is why it’s always got to be connected to purpose. So what’s the connecting link? How does this goal connect you to purpose? So that’s a really good exercise for you, at this halfway point in the year is for every single goal is for you to to like draw a line and say how is this goal connected to my to higher purpose? Or how is this goal connected to my values? So spell it out, make it explicit, state it in the goal if you if you need to, if that’s helpful and then review this connection to purpose daily, if that can be helpful. So you know, one of my One of my senses of purpose is to contribute to contribute to others and help others understand their sense of purpose to help others see themselves as leaders to help others see their worth and their value. And so my goals really connect to that purpose. And so, you know, sometimes even, you know, if I think about my values, or my goals around mindfulness, that goal helps me to be steady, so that I can so that I can be refreshed, and, and balanced, right integrated so that I can do my best work, right? So all of our goals should serve our larger purpose. And then, of course, review your why. So why do you do what you do? So find a quote that is personally meaningful, and that you can keep in a prominent place to remind you why the goal matters. So I know for me, I have a quote from Viktor Frankl that hangs in my office. And it is something that’s personally meaningful to me. He’s been a hero of mine for decades, I discovered him all along the go, probably in high school is when I first read Man’s Search for Meaning. And then I studied him in more depth when I was a graduate student in psychology. And then, when I, so I spoke at my MBA graduation, and I shared one of his quotes on what it means to be successful, which has very little to do with success, it has everything to do with serving a greater purpose than yourself and serving others. And that that is the path
Dr. Melissa Smith 46:57
for happiness. And so I keep that quote, in my office, I’m looking at it right now. It’s somewhere that I can always see. And it inspires me, and it connects me to purpose. And so find a quote, that is personally meaningful, and that you can keep in a prominent place that reminds you why your goals matter. And why you take the next step, because your goals are challenging, and they do scare you a little bit. And it’s, it can also help keep you from cynicism. And we’ve got so much of that right now in the world. And we don’t want you to give in to the cynicism. Okay, and then the last piece of the fifth P is make it playful, right? It doesn’t have to be all deeply serious all the time. Make it playful, have fun with your goals, if you’re having a hard time, with daily actions toward goal completion, make a game out of it. So you know, behavioral interventions can be very effective, right? So as a psychologist, I’m all about behavioral interventions, they can be super effective, but they can also be really fun. So you know, sticker charts are not just for kids. So we use we use behavioral charts and sticker charts all the time in treatment, and they do not have to be juvenile at all, like if it works. And if it’s something that kind of helps you to track your progress. I say use it, like that’s fun, if it’s something that helps you visually to track your progress. Like that’s awesome, let’s use it. So you could use a sticker chart to track your progress on a habit goals. So you know, behavioral charts, sticker charts, you know, like a visual chart, like maybe that you keep at home, or in your office or in your planner or something like that are you know, obviously those are most helpful for habit goals. So for example, if you have a goal so this is one of my habit goals, it’s it’s not a goal that I’m actively working on right now. Because it’s such it’s it’s just a habit, you know, so I don’t have to actively work on this as a goal because I, it’s now a habit, I just do it. And it’s it’s become automatic for me, which is cool. That’s the nice thing about a habit goal is once it becomes automatic, it just becomes part of your life, but drinking 120 ounces of water per day. Now consult with your physician because that might not work for everyone. But for instance, if you were working on increasing your water intake, then you could use you could use tick marks on your planner page for that or a little sticker chart to say to mark your water intake. Or you could use tick marks when you hit your greens goal. So maybe maybe you’ve got a goal to increase your color on your plate or in in crease, your intake of fresh whole vegetables, that sort of thing you have there lots of apps that you can use. So there’s habit tracker apps that are designed for exactly this purpose. And they can be very useful. We just don’t want you to get too obsessive about this. But they can be useful tools to help you, especially with the habit goals. And you could do a report card, so you could call a friend at the end of the week, and give a report of your progress on your goal. So right now I’m editing a manuscript. So I have been working on my manuscript. So one thing that I could do is I could give a report on how far I’ve gotten on my editing for the week. So I’ve kind of started doing this informally with my girlfriend, I do it for sure in my planner, but I could increase my accountability by doing this with a friend or, you know, like I said, I’ve been doing a little informally with my guy, friend, but you know, to, to kind of do a weekly report of like, Okay, I got through, I edited all of chapter six this week. And it can really, you know, that could really help me to keep progressing because I know, I need to give a report at the end of the week. Plus, it could be a double bonus, because I look forward to receiving encouragement at the end of the week and a little kick in the pants, if I didn’t make the progress that I’ve committed to. So anytime you have accountability with another person, it will increase your level of commitment. And sometimes you might not be really happy about that. But it will increase your level of accountability, and commitment. And so of course, accountability
Dr. Melissa Smith 51:54
groups provide an excellent source of support for those big goals. You get feedback, you get support, you get accountability. And so it’s really, so very, very helpful. So there you go, those are the five P’s. So I’m just going to repeat them quickly. So stick to your plan, be willing to pivot remain steady on your path, connect to purpose, and make it playful. And so again, I have a really great resource. And that is the goal checkpoint, five PS to keep you on your path. So I hope you will head on over to my website, to check out the show notes with all of the great resources for this episode, including this excellent resource. And I hope that you will take the time and go through this process. And of course, if you haven’t taken the time to go through the three part, the three part series that I did at the beginning of the year, I would also encourage you to do that there are some great resources associated with that three part series that I think could also be really useful, but you can access all of that information at my website. www.drmelissasmith.com/episode-61 one more time, that’s www.drmelissasmith.com/episode-61. I’m Dr. Melissa Smith. Remember love and work, work in love. That’s all there is. Until next time, take good care.
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