Podcast Transcriptions

Pursue What Matters

Episode 20: The Truth About Self-Care

Please excuse any typos, transcripts are generated by an automated service

Dr. Melissa Smith 0:00
When you think of the term self care, what do you think of a new facewash routines, the glamorous masks you saw on Instagram, paying for a super expensive spa weekend, locking yourself in the bedroom to read your book and leaving your family to fend for themselves for a few hours. That one sounds familiar. It’s very much a hot topic right now. And trust me, it’s for a good reason. But we have definitely thrown it around so much lately. It’s lost a lot of its true meaning. So today we’re diving into it and getting to the nitty gritty of self care. So let’s jump in.

Dr. Melissa Smith 0:37
Hi, I’m Dr. Melissa Smith, welcome to the Pursue What Matters podcast where we focus on what it takes to thrive in love and work. Today, we’re talking all about self care. What does that even mean? It’s kind of a ridiculous term. I mean, I get so sick of it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important. But we throw that term around so much that I think it’s lost, its meaning its meaning a little bit. Well, today, we’re going to try and wrangle it in a bit and think about what self care actually means for you in the life you actually live. So hopefully, you’re ready for that. Plus, I have a really great freebie for you all about self care. So I hope that you will stick with me on this podcast and at the bottom of the show, I will share with you the link where you can download the awesome self care, freebie that will be really valuable. I promise you, it’ll, it’ll be really useful for you. So you gotta stick around for that.

Dr. Melissa Smith 2:06
Okay, so what do you think about when you think about self care? Do you think about weekend getaways at Spa retreats? Do you think about couple massages? Do you think about luxurious pedicures? Or do you think about teeth cleanings and turning off that darn TV at 10pm? Even though you really want to watch another episode of your favorite show? Because you know, if you don’t, you will not get yourself out of bed the next morning to exercise. Of course, you know, most of us would like the first set of descriptions, the spa retreats, the massages the pedicures, but most of us live in the world of the second set of descriptions. And today, I want to focus on the truth about self care. And this is the truth that no one at the spa retreats tell you sometimes self care sucks. Sometimes self care is miserable. Sometimes self care, is that absolutely last thing you want to do. And you should probably still do it.

Dr. Melissa Smith 3:18
Okay, here’s the thing. self care has led us astray. It has betrayed us. And of course, you know, it’s not so much self care. Self Care isn’t a person, it doesn’t have a conscience. It is us. We have all sorts of beliefs, shame and marketing dollars that contribute to some pretty powerful myths when it comes to self care. And so today, I want to start by dispelling some of these self care myths because honestly, like I think it’s I think it’s done us a disservice. And at the end of the day, I think it makes it harder for us to actually take good care of ourselves. So let’s let’s talk about some self care myths, shall we?

Dr. Melissa Smith 4:06
Okay, myth one, self care should feel good. This is probably the biggest myth. You know, self care can feel good. But most of the time taking care of yourself is anything but pleasant. I mean, think about getting your teeth cleaned. Nothing against my dentist. I mean, he’s a super cool guy. I really like him. I love hearing him talk at me when my mouth is wide open and he’s gouging up my gums with a sharp pick, followed by a shower that manages to spray my entire face and freeze my sensitive teeth at the same time. I love having my teeth cleaned. No, actually, I don’t. I hate it. I absolutely dread it, but I do it. I do it every six months like clockwork because while I hate getting my teeth cleaned, I love my teeth. And I want to keep them in good working order for as long as possible. So self care isn’t always enjoyable. It, it does not always feel good. In fact, a lot of times it doesn’t feel good at all. So let’s just think about all the things we need to do to take good care of ourselves. Most of them are not pleasant and do not feel good. There’s the dentist, the gynecologist mammograms Need I say more, I just had a mammogram last week, and not pleasant. You know, it’s not horrible, but is not pleasant. The gentlemen have their turn and cough experience I hear that’s a real gem of an experience. We’ve got colonoscopies, you know, the list can go on and on, you have to get your bet you get yourself to bed at a reasonable hour, even when you don’t want to that self care. You shower, when you don’t want to that self care, you floss your teeth, flossing your teeth, it’s such a pain in the neck, but you do it I mean, hopefully you do it, I do I floss my teeth every night. And sometimes it feels good. But a lot of times, I’m just so tired, but I still do it. You wash your clothes, most of the time you even fold them. All of this, all of this is self care. You know, you organize your life and you put your things in places where you can find them so that when you need them, they’re there. All of this is self care, all of the little things you do every single day that requires effort, time and consideration, that help your life operate more smoothly, these little things can make a huge difference. And I would submit to you that all of these things are forms of self care, and are actually a lot more important forms of self care than you know, like the big weekends away or the massages. And they will have more lasting impact on your well being than a spa retreat. And not that I have anything against the spa retreat. But I just want to challenge this myth that self care should feel good because a lot of times like self care is kind of a pain actually. But it’s still important.

Dr. Melissa Smith 7:23
Okay, Myth number two, self care is indulgent and or lavish. So this myth can be pretty dangerous. Because for many of us, we don’t feel deserving of taking time to care for ourselves. Which First of all, you know, makes me pretty sad. But then if you think that self care is something that is indulgent or lavish, then you are going to be even less likely to engage in self care activities. But this just doesn’t need to be the case. You know, self care can be very simple. And often simple efforts are the most effective forms of self care, because they’re going to be sustainable over time. So I want you to think of simple pleasures that count as self care. So I don’t know how he’ll feel about this, he’ll probably be fine. Who knows, but my guy friend, so he’s kind of obsessed with trimming his fingernails and his toenails. So he’s very into now and cuticle care, which I totally appreciate. I really, I really like that about him. So it’s kind of funny watching and even more entertaining, listening to him trim his fingernails and toenails because he genuinely enjoys the process of trimming his nails. It is pleasurable to him. Not only does he like having the trim nails, but he enjoys the process of trimming his nails. Talk about a simple pleasure like this is this is the epitome of self care. Right? Like that is self care in action. So now I’ll share one so I have this really lovely moisturizer. And I’ve got to tell you, I really look forward to using it every night. I love the smell of it on my skin. So it’s not expensive. And there’s not anything particularly special about this moisturizer, but it just feels good. And I think part of what it is that makes this special is that it’s me taking time to take care of myself, notice myself and take care of my skin you know and when is the last time you adored yourself, you know maybe you adored your children, you kiss their toes, you stroke their soft skin, all of this adoration, affection and love. And just because you’re an adult, doesn’t mean you have outgrown the need for these affections. And it doesn’t need to be indulgent or something reserved for a lover. Or a stranger you pay right like to massage your skin. So okay, that that last thing could be interpretated interpreted many ways, but I mean it in a completely chaste way, you know, let’s just let’s think about the ways that self care can be simple, right, and we think about kind of the simple pleasures, and they’re going to be a lot more effective because they are sustainable over time.

Dr. Melissa Smith 10:34
Okay, so now myth three, self care is expensive. So this myth, you know, similar to the last one can also be pretty dangerous for those of us who feel undeserving of self care, because this myth leads us to believe that we are undeserving of self care or that we can’t afford self care, or that self care is reserved for those lucky few who can afford a five star vacation, quarterly spa retreat, and, you know, girls trips to the desert to renew. And, you know, let me just say this, you know, don’t get me wrong, I would love to sign up for these kinds of trips. But self care does not need to involve these types of adventures, to be effective. And in fact, you know, if you’re breaking the bank, to pay for one of these self care retreats, that is not self care, that could actually be poor judgment. So accruing debt in the name of self care, will result in more stress, not less stress. So let’s not miss the forest for the trees here. So what I would just say is you don’t have to be rigid one way or another. And most important is not to judge yourself or others. So to each his or her own. So, you know, I know for myself, like I’ve gone on girls trips that has, you know, have been more expensive, and has been totally worth the expense. And I’m so glad I’ve done those trips. But what I would also say is that those trips are not necessary, in order for us to take good care of ourselves. More often than not, I go on hikes with my best friends. And those hikes are totally free, you know, other than, you know, the gas to get to the canyon, and then you know, the hiking, the hiking is all powered by by my lakes. So, self care does not have to be expensive. So you know, last year for Christmas, one of my best friends introduced me to a new bath. So oh, my goodness, I totally love it. I actually I used it this morning, I’m absolutely in love with it. It feels and smells so good. It is really inexpensive, like so inexpensive. But it’s totally part of my self care routine. Now, it makes me happy to use this soap. And I love it because it reminds me of my dear friend and her thoughtfulness, because she thought it was something I would enjoy. And boy, she’s totally correct. So you know, every time I use it, it makes me happy. And it makes me think of my friend. And that makes me happy too. So, you know, this is this is an example of like a really great self care item that is not expensive at all.

Dr. Melissa Smith 13:32
Myth four self care is selfish. This is a big myth that keeps many of us, especially women, from taking good care of ourselves. We believe that to take care of ourselves means that we are somehow selfish, or ignoring the needs of others. And this just isn’t the case. So you are entitled to take care of your needs. And in fact, this is your first obligation as an individual. So as individuals, we each have an obligation to take responsibility for meeting our needs, like we have to, there is certainly a cultural expectation, though, for many women to be very self sacrificing, and that there is somehow moral superiority that comes from sacrificing your own needs for the needs of others. And if you you know, somehow have the audacity to take care of yourself, you can be judged and shamed pretty harshly by others. And unfortunately, most often this comes from other women. So it can be a pretty vicious cycle. And you know, of course, it’s completely ridiculous. But the bottom line is that self care is not selfish. It is actually your responsibility as an individual. So you teach those you lead whether at work or at home, that they need to be responsible for themselves and critical to responsibility is the responsibility to care for yourself and honestly, it’s as simple as that. So when you fail to meet your needs, you become the responsibility of someone else. So let this be your motivation to take care of yourself, if you continue to feel guilty about it. And so, I mean, I think it really is as simple as that. And I love this quote from, from Lama rod Owens, “if you don’t do your own work, you become work for somebody else.” And so I think if we can just pay attention to self care is part of self responsibility, it can make it a little bit easier to to be more proactive about self care. So if you can frame self care, in terms of self responsibility, then you can hopefully drop this sense of selfishness when it comes to self care, because it is not selfish at all.

Dr. Melissa Smith 15:59
Okay, myth five, self care is a guilty pleasure. So this myth is closely tied to the myth that self care is selfish. So self care is not a guilty pleasure. It’s a requisite part of being human, and taking responsibility for yourself. So right. And, you know, as mentioned, self care is not always pleasurable, right. So it certainly can be, but sometimes self care is not enjoyable at all. But it’s always important.

Dr. Melissa Smith 16:27
Okay, so myth six, self care is acceptable only in as much as it allows you to better care for others. So this myth is a really powerful myth that a lot of individuals and especially women continue to fall prey to and use to justify their use of self care. So this is a bit more of a sophisticated myth. So you know, let me explain a little bit more. So first of all, this myth may be used by those of you who are regularly engaging in self care. So let me just say, you know, good for you for having some regular self care activities, that’s a win. And I’m, I’m thrilled with that. So. So that’s really good.

Dr. Melissa Smith 17:18
However, here’s the problem. So many of you are still justifying your use of self care, under the guises of I do this, so I can be a better mother. Or this helps me to be a better wife, or this helps me to lead better, right? If that sounds familiar, pay attention. Now, this is tricky, because all of these statements can be true and probably are true. But this is the problem I have with this myth. This approach, frame self care in the context of meeting your needs, only in the context of fulfilling roles that you may deem important, such as wife, mother, leader, and all these are really wonderful and valuable to consider. If you’re not careful, you run the risk of losing yourself as an individual in the process. So this is this is why I worry about that. And this is why I think that’s a vulnerability. That one of the keys of self care is the ability to see yourself wholly as an individual, actually separate from some of these roles, functions and obligations, to see yourself as a woman or as a man in a context set apart, even if only for a few minutes, from your many obligations and responsibilities in your life. Because by being able to create even a little bit of space for yourself, in the small and sometimes bigger moments of self care, you can better see and feel and listen to the needs you have as a deeply uniquely individual, rather than as a fully connected, obligated and responsible woman, man, wife, husband, parent or leader, that that occupies so much mental real estate for you. So what I’m saying for you is like you’ve got to have moments of space, moments of stillness where you can have just a little bit of separation from all of your role obligations from all of your identities, because it’s in those modes. Moments of stillness in those moments of space in those moments of separation, that you can actually connect to yourself. Or you can actually start to connect with your needs. And you can start to understand who it is you are, and what it is you need, that may be separate from these role obligations and these identities, and not asking you to cut yourself off from those role obligations. I’m just saying you need that space. Even if it’s only in small moments. Now, this can feel dangerous to you. And it might take you back to myth four, and feel very selfish, but it doesn’t need to, I’m not asking you to disregard your role obligations, or the needs of those you care about. It’s exactly the opposite, actually. But I am asking you to recognize your needs as well. Too many of us high achieving leaders have felt forced to make the decision between our needs, and the needs of those we lead, which leads to impossible results of impoverished, impoverished self care. We take good care of others, while undermining ourselves. I’ve seen it time and time again. And I know it because I have lived it myself. And here’s the truth, it is a miserable way to live.

Dr. Melissa Smith 21:50
But most of us don’t know any other way. You know, we’re really committed to our work. And we’re really committed to those we love and those we lead. And so it’s really easy to feel very stuck. And so we push on, and we try to suck it up. But over time, it really starts to take a toll on our quality of life. And so what I want to propose to you is that you hold your roles loosely, that you don’t cling too tightly to any given role you carry. So, you know, we each function in various roles in our lives. And these are really important and meaningful roles. But when we cling too tightly to these roles, and we begin to identify ourselves too closely with these roles, we run the risk of losing our sense of self, to these roles. And when this happens, our ability to see where the role ends, and where our self begins, becomes very challenging. And any hope at self care becomes almost impossible. So a common example that that could be very familiar to many individuals can maybe illustrate the point here.

Dr. Melissa Smith 23:24
So you know, you think about a young husband and wife who welcome a new baby into their family. It creates a huge change in the family system and also creates new roles as the husband becomes a father and the wife becomes a mother. And they both try to adapt to a crying, pooping human with 24/7 needs, what a huge upheaval that is overwhelming and joyous all at once. And although you know loosening somewhat culturally, there continues to be strong pressures on women, especially around role expectations tied to motherhood. And this can be really daunting. So you know, this new mother may question Is it okay for me to take time for myself to exercise? You know, to even shower? Do I need to make myself available to this child’s needs 24/7, what is my obligation as a mother is my obligation higher than my husband’s obligation, this woman may begin to see herself through the lens of this child’s, through the lens as this child’s mother in the role of mother and lose her identity of self that predated the birth of her child. And though this may be a meaningful development for her, it does not come without vulnerabilities related to self care. And so we just we want to acknowledge those vulnerabilities. And we want to think about how can we protect against these vulnerabilities. And so to hold some of these roles, Loosely, especially when it comes to self care, so that we can, we can meet these needs. So if we, if we go, if we go back to this myth six, that self care is acceptable only in as much as it allows you to better care for others, then we would say that self care is a vital part of being human end of sentence. So, it’s not that self care is important, because it helps me to be a better mother self care is important because it helps me to be a better leader. No, self care is important, because I’m human, right? And so if we think about this, you know, new mother, if we continue this example, we would just pay attention to Okay, is it okay for me to exercise? Well, is exercise an important part of being human is an important part of self care? Yeah, let’s find a way to do that. Right, that baby’s gonna be okay. And it probably means, like doing some negotiating with husband and that sort of thing, right? Like, we’re totally acknowledging that there’s some role navigation that needs to happen.

Dr. Melissa Smith 26:23
But the self care should not be negotiable. Here. The self care is really critical, and that it’s self care isn’t just a function of being able to perform better in the role. Yes, that’s a benefit. And yes, we acknowledge that. But self care is actually vital to thriving as a human end of sentence. So that’s what we really want to prioritize. Because when we only look at self care in the context of our roles, then it’s really it. It’s not a far stretch, to sacrifice self care, in the service of our roles, and then, you know, if we’re not careful, we really end up undermining ourselves over time.

Dr. Melissa Smith 27:17
Okay, so now, you know, I’ve dispelled some myths associated with self care, we’ve talked about six myths. And I really hope it’s inspired you to commit to regular self care for yourself, not as a luxury or a guilty pleasure, but as a consistent part of proactive living. So now, I want to talk about this idea that self care requires a few things. Okay. So as luck would have it, they all start with a so lucky you.

Dr. Melissa Smith 27:53
So the first thing self care requires awareness. Are you aware and paying attention to the feedback of your thoughts, emotions, and bodily cues? So some questions to ask, What am I thinking, What am I feeling? What am I experiencing in my body? So these are some of the questions you want to ask yourself. So just Just a quick note here, I am going to include all of this great information in the self care freebie that I have for you. So I so as you, as you listen to this podcast at the bottom of the podcast, I will include the link to my show notes, and you can download this resource there, and it will have all this great information there. So I hope that you will take the time and download the resource because it has lots of great information. Okay, so I’m talking about self care requires a few things. So the first one was it requires awareness.

Dr. Melissa Smith 28:51
The second thing is it requires action. So self care requires a willingness to respond appropriately. So based on the feedback you’re receiving from thoughts, emotions, and bodily cues, what is your best response? So right, you are your best advocate. Don’t wait for someone else to notice your needs, be willing to speak up on your behalf be proactive, compassionate care is the principle to operate under when it comes to self compassion, set a boundary, you may need to set boundaries with others in order to meet your needs. You may need to set a boundary with yourself in order to meet your needs. And I you know, I said I shared some examples of that right. So the example of setting a bedtime for yourself is a prime example this battle between what you want and what is in your best interest is the perennial tension of self care. So the self care boundary really lands on the side of what is in your best interest. And so very often you may need to set a boundary with yourself. So I very often put myself to bed earlier than I really want to go, because I know it’s in my best interest. Okay? intuitive eating is another example in terms of monitoring your hunger fullness, and stopping when you get to a fullness of seven.

Dr. Melissa Smith 30:13
So if you’re not familiar with hunger fullness scale, you know, seven is kind of that sweet spot of fullness. So you may want to continue eating, but you recognize that if you keep eating, it would not be intuitive, it would not be good self care, it would actually be pretty poor self care. So though, that food tastes so good, you want to honor the cues your body is sending you and stop eating out of respect for your body, and recognize that this is self care. Okay, so those are two good examples of setting boundaries with yourself. Sometimes you can just set boundaries with other people as well.

Dr. Melissa Smith 30:51
Okay, the third thing that self care requires, it requires attention. So self care requires your attention and time, as a high achieving leader, you’re busy, I get it. And time is our most valuable commodity. So I don’t think it’s a mistake that self care requires time, it forces us to take time to slow down and attend to ourselves, our needs and our bodies. And we really need that in order to thrive. So you don’t have to like it. But the sooner you can stop fighting this reality and actually set some time aside for self care. Whether this is by allowing yourself adequate sleep, setting aside the time you need for doctor’s appointment, so you aren’t rushing around stressed out, the sooner you will find a new ease to your days and weeks. So what I would say is think about ways to make self care easier, so that, you know, self care isn’t stressful. So when it comes to self care appointments, such as doctor appointments, dental cleanings, you know, the dreaded dental cleanings, hair appointment, etc, you know, automate these as much as possible, so they are as predictable as possible. Also, consider what in your self care routine is actually self care, and what may actually be burdensome. So right now, you know, it’s like all the rage, these fake eyelashes, they’re, like such a theme. So now, I don’t have anything personal against fake eyelashes, they’re not my thing, but to each their own. But you know, I was talking to a friend not too long ago, who told me what was required to keep them up, Oh, my gosh, I have no idea. I had no idea how anyone has time to maintain fake eyelashes. Like, seriously, for my understanding, which is, which is minimal. It’s like 90 minutes to two hours every like two to three weeks. And those babies are not cheap. So that’s a lot of time and a lot of money. So I was like blown away. But if that’s your thing, and you love them, and they add that much value to your life, more power to you. But if you have the eyelashes, and the pedicures and manicures and the wax appointments and the laser treatments, and the Botox appointments and the end, and you can see how your entire life becomes a string of quote unquote, self care appointments. And you really do start to lose the forest for the trees. So let’s not do that. And it does not take long before the Self Care Benefit becomes completely outweighed by the hassle, stress management cost of all this time and money to say nothing of what all this quote unquote self care might be about.

Dr. Melissa Smith 33:54
So I won’t get into all of that now, but I would just say, pay attention to what you’re doing for your quote unquote self care and really look at is this self care. Right? Like, is this actually adding value to your life? So I’ll give a quick example. So I used to get gel nails done, right, so it was like my own nails but like gel polish, and they looked really pretty and I really liked them. But this is what I found. I had to go in like every two and a half to three weeks. And it was a hassle like I did not have time to do that. So it took time it was kind of a pain in the neck for me. And it was destroying my nails. And I did not like that. And so after a period of time I was just like this is not adding this is not adding enough value to my life that it’s really worth it and like, I still kind of missed those gel nails because they were pretty and I enjoyed it. And so occasionally, like, I’ll do them again every once in a while, but when I kind of looked at it, I was just like, No, I don’t, I don’t think this is worth it given kind of the costs associated with it, which really, for me was about, like, the time and what it was actually doing to my nails. So I think each of us kind of have to make some of those decisions for ourselves. And it’s very personal, right? Like, you don’t want to be judging anyone about their choices around that. But what I would say is just do a little inventory for yourself and consider the things that you have on your self care list and really consider like, okay, is this really self care? Or is this actually more stressful for me? Or is it actually adding that much value to my life, because some of the things maybe would be just as well to go. So that’s something to pay attention to.

Dr. Melissa Smith 36:04
Okay, so let’s see, we are on the fourth, so the last the last a here. So what self care requires, so self care requires attunement. So self care requires finding those activities that are best attuned to your needs. So what works for others will not necessarily be a good fit for you. And what is helpful at one point in your life may be less effective at another time. So what I would say is be flexible, be willing to experiment, and be proactive and persistent in pursuing self care activities that are tuned to your unique needs. So self care is as unique as the individual. But let’s think about some broad categories to help you as you consider your options. So first of all, you know, under physical well being, you know, we think about your doctor, we think about your dentist, we think about preventative care, we also think about health and fitness. And so you know, exercise, that sort of thing, you know, we would also maybe think about massage, maybe physical therapy, so I do powerlifting. So I’m always thinking about physical therapy, because, you know, I’m, I’m in there probably like, maybe once a year, maybe once every couple of years, because it just comes with the territory, with the kind of lifting that I’m doing. And, you know, it’s great. I’ve really liked my physical therapist. So that works. So massage, physical therapy, yoga, those sorts of things. The next category that we want to pay attention to would be emotional well being. So These could include mindfulness practices, so maybe meditation you would want to pay attention to I had a great podcast where I interviewed Dr. Jared Warren. So if you haven’t listened to that podcast, definitely check that out. We would also consider spirituality and religious practices they are, can be a very valuable source of emotional well being, maybe you would consider formal therapy or counseling. And then also support groups. The next category would include social connection. So we think about friends, families, colleagues, maybe interest groups that you’re a part of, Okay, and then the next category is play. So let’s not underestimate the power of play.

Dr. Melissa Smith 38:41
So we think about sports hobbies service. And this is a good place also, also to check out the podcast that I did on play. So I did a whole podcast on the power of play. And there’s tons of great research on how important players in our life. So that would be a great one. And play is a really good form of self care. So definitely check that one out. And then the last category that I want to have you think about is learning growth and development. So you know, some options here would include community education, most communities have some some really good community education, whether it’s through the local university, and they have, oh, I was just reading through the catalog. For my local community education, I actually have the brochure in our lobby of our clinic. And they have, it’s so awesome. Like they have topics on gardening, they have around floral arranging, they have it on writing a novel they have on software development, on coding, I mean, just about any topic you could imagine. And the prices are so reasonable, like so, so reasonable, and it’s like such a great opportunity. To get some exposure to some skill development, meet new people in the community that share the same interest. And like, community education is an awesome resource that most communities have. Could also consider hobbies, you know, service opportunities, skill development.

Dr. Melissa Smith 40:19
So right now, my daughter is teaching herself the piano. So she, she found a song that she wanted to play on iTunes. And then she found some lessons for that song on YouTube. She started this on Sunday. And then last night, she was playing the song for me and my husband. And like, it’s amazing. Like, she’s pretty talented, like she plays music by ear. But I was blown away at how far she had come in, like, less than 24 hours. And that was just something like she’s just found on her own online. And you know, she’s teaching herself to play the piano. So like, that’s super cool. There’s so many resources out there. So you could do, you know, skill development, you could do more formal lessons, you could go back to school, you could start school. And, and, you know, there are two great podcasts in this in this area, that could be really helpful. So you could check out my podcast on leaders are readers to get some good ideas. And then also, you could check out my podcast on why learning is hard and why that’s a good thing. And I talk kind of all about the ins and outs of learning. So hopefully that gives you some good ideas on attunement and finding activities that are good fit for you.

Dr. Melissa Smith 41:53
So I hope that you enjoyed this podcast, I hope that we helped to dispel some myths around self care. And that it also gave you some good ideas in terms of how you can take a proactive stance in your own self care as you consider next steps for yourself. And more than anything, I hope you will be really invested in some great self care for yourself. So make sure you head on over to my website to check out the show notes with all the great resources for this episode. And definitely check out the freebie I’ve got an excellent freebie, all all the best details about self care. So we’re going to dispel those myths. We also have, you know, the four requirements of self care for you, and it’s going to be a really great resource for you to have. So definitely check out the show notes so you can access that resource. And the place to do that. is www.drmelissasmith.com/episode-20, one more time www.drmelissasmith.com/episode-20. And of course, if you like what you’re hearing, please head on over to iTunes and subscribe and leave me a review. And of course now I’m on Spotify. So if you prefer Spotify, you can listen to me there. We love to have you listen wherever you want to listen. And of course make sure you check out the freebie, you can access that with the show notes. And thank you so much for your time.

Dr. Melissa Smith 43:36
And don’t forget I’m on Instagram @drmelissasmith, I’d love to hear from you there. I’d love to hear what you want to hear more about. So on the podcast and with the book reviews. So let me know if you want me to review a book. I’d love to do that. So I’m definitely social so so find me on Instagram as well. I’m Dr. Melissa Smith. Remember love and work work in love. That’s all there is. Until next time, take good care.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai