Some folks deem communication as a “soft skill” and by doing so, diminish how important it really is. We all talk, text, tweet (or is it X?), and chat every day of our lives, and yet improving communication is still one of the best ways to improve. Improving communication can improve your personal and professional relationships like nothing else can.
In my work as a psychologist, business leader, and leadership coach, I see the impact of poor communication every single day. It’s a hefty price, one that you can’t afford to pay.
If you want to improve communication in your personal and professional life, you must first understand the basics—what works, what doesn’t, and how to stay intentional.
In this blog, I want to help you do just that. Specifically, I’ll cover:
- Why improving communication is essential for healthy teams and strong relationships
- The don’ts of communication that can derail conversations and damage relationships
- The dos of communication that lead to clarity, trust, and connection
- PLUS… I’ve added two BONUS sections to talk about nonverbal, and written communication
Let’s get to the heart of how to improve communication skills in all facets of life.
Why Is Improving Communication Important?
When communication breaks down, everything else falls apart. Misunderstandings escalate conflict, assumptions breed resentment, and confusion delays progress. Whether you’re leading a team or navigating personal relationships, improving communication must be a top priority.
If you want to improve communication, you need to understand that most problems—big or small—start with poor communication. Often, someone isn’t listening, is avoiding conflict, or is afraid to say what needs to be said.
In leadership especially, strong communication builds trust, clarity, and psychological safety. Knowing how to improve communication skills in the workplace is essential for better teamwork, higher morale, and stronger performance.
How NOT to Improve Communication: The Don’ts
There are a lot of dos to improving communication, but sometimes the things that trip us up the most are the things we shouldn’t be doing. Sometimes it’s about doing less of the bad than doing more of the good.
Here are the biggest mistakes you need to avoid in order to improve your communication skills:
- Don’t Ask Questions That Aren’t Questions
Avoid statements disguised as questions. “I wonder if our team needs to communicate better” is manipulative and erodes trust. If you have something to say, say it directly. - Don’t Mind Read or Make Assumptions
You can’t know what someone else is thinking unless they tell you. Guessing or assuming motives creates conflict. Ask for clarity. - Don’t Label or Judge
Labels like “lazy” or “you always mess this up” shut down conversation. Stick to behaviors, not character judgments. - Don’t Give Unsolicited Advice
Most people want empathy, not advice. Lead with understanding, not correction. - Don’t Avoid Difficult Conversations
Avoidance builds resentment. Unspoken concerns don’t disappear—they fester and worsen over time. - Don’t Blame or Try to Control
Blame kills team spirit. Control stifles autonomy and growth. Invite participation instead. - Don’t Use “You” Statements
“You never listen” escalates tension. Use “I” statements to own your experience and reduce defensiveness.
How to Improve Communication: The Dos
Once you’re aware of what not to do, it’s time to add in more of the behaviors that help. If you want to improve communication, start here:
- Speak Directly and Respectfully
Say what you mean, clearly and kindly. Being direct builds trust. - Use “I” Statements
“I’m concerned the project is off track” creates space for discussion. “You’re not doing enough” creates conflict. - Listen and Reflect
Show people you’re listening by reflecting back: “It sounds like you’re frustrated. Is that right?” - Express Appreciation and Good Intent
Gratitude and goodwill set the tone for collaboration, even in tough conversations. - Focus on Your Feelings
Name your feelings to connect more authentically and reduce blame. - Invite Collaboration
Ask for others’ input. “What do you think?” opens the door to mutual understanding. - Communicate About Communication
“Can we pause and return to this later?” is a healthy way to manage difficult discussions. - Use Preface Statements
“I appreciate your effort. Can I share a concern?” softens the start of constructive feedback. - Problem Solve, Don’t Just Critique
Offer to collaborate on solutions. “Let’s think through this together.” - Improve Communication Nonverbally
Nonverbal cues—like calm tone and steady eye contact—can make or break your message.
Bonus: How to Improve Communication Nonverbally
Do:
- Breathe slowly to stay calm and grounded
- Maintain eye contact to show you’re listening
- Use an open stance (uncrossed arms, relaxed posture)
- Nod to show engagement
- Watch your tone—it can make or break the message
Don’t:
- Roll your eyes—it communicates contempt
- Raise your voice—it triggers fear, not understanding
- Use defensive postures—they shut others down
- Walk away without explanation—it feels dismissive
- Interrupt—it signals you’re not listening
Improving Communication in Writing
With so much of our work happening via email, Slack, or text, written communication is more important than ever. And it’s just as easy to get wrong.
Written Communication Don’ts:
- Don’t address big concerns via email—go face-to-face
- Don’t use sarcasm—it rarely lands well in writing
- Don’t be vague—clarity is kind
- Don’t CC/BCC everyone—be mindful of privacy
- Don’t use emojis or jargon in formal communication
- Don’t use unfamiliar acronyms
Written Communication Dos:
- Review and edit before sending
- Use bullet points and short paragraphs
- Include clear next steps and deadlines
- Use “If so…” to move the conversation forward
- Invite feedback and collaboration
- Use acronyms sparingly and define them first
Conclusion: Start Improving Communication Today
There’s no such thing as perfect communication, but there is intentional communication. If you want to improve communication skills in the workplace and beyond, it starts with awareness, effort, and empathy.
Focus on the dos, avoid the don’ts, and stay open to learning along the way. Improving communication is one of the most powerful leadership skills you can build—because everything rises and falls on connection.
👉 If you feel ready to take the next steps in your leadership journey, click here to work with me directly!