By Dr. Melissa Smith
Across my career, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to feel unsure of myself—lack of clarity, feeling weak, and being unsure how to lead my team. If you’re a leader, you’ve probably had a similar crisis of confidence at some point in your career.
Today, I want to give you the tools to help you overcome low confidence and rebuild your belief in yourself. I can’t guarantee you’ll never come across another crisis of confidence, but if you do, you can use these tools to overcome the obstacles in your path.
There are five tools I’ll share with you:
- Skill One: Get Compassionate
- Skill Two: Get Quiet
- Skill Three: Get Scale
- Skill Four: Get Help
- Skill Five: Get Feedback
Not a leader? Don’t worry, these steps can help anyone struggling with their confidence!
What is a Crisis of Confidence?
Before I dive into solutions, let me define the issue at hand. A crisis of confidence is more than a bad day—it’s a deeper disruption in your sense of self and ability. You might feel like you’ve lost your edge, resilience, or effectiveness. Tasks that once came naturally now feel impossible. You might even ask yourself: Can I still do hard things?
This experience can be unsettling and painful, but it’s also incredibly normal. Leaders and high achievers face these crises at different points in their careers, often when navigating change, failure, or increased pressure.
Understanding this is key: a crisis of confidence doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re human. And it’s something you can address with the right tools and support.
Skill One: Get Compassionate
When confidence falters, many of us instinctively get tough on ourselves. But the first, and arguably most powerful, skill is compassion.
Compassion doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook—it means showing up with gentleness. It means acknowledging your pain without judgment and giving yourself space to regroup.
Ask yourself:
- Would I speak to a friend the way I speak to myself right now?
- Can I offer grace without giving up accountability?
Self-compassion helps you steady the ground beneath your feet. It’s not indulgent—it’s necessary. As a leader, treating yourself with kindness gives you the resilience to treat others the same.
Skill Two: Get Quiet
In the face of low confidence, many leaders default to overdrive. We get busy. We take action. We try to fix the problem immediately. But sometimes, the real antidote isn’t action—it’s stillness.
Getting quiet allows you to reflect with curiosity. What’s really behind the self-doubt? Did you set unrealistic expectations? Are you tying your self-worth to a specific outcome?
Quiet helps you identify hidden pressures, perfectionism, or toxic comparisons that might be fueling your crisis. From this space, you can start asking better questions:
- Why is this challenge throwing me off?
- Am I focused on what really matters?
- What assumptions or expectations might I need to let go of?
Silence creates space for insight. And insight creates space for change.
Skill Three: Get Scale
When everything feels like too much, it’s time to zoom out. This step is all about gaining perspective and seeing the bigger picture. What’s actually required of you? What’s on your plate that doesn’t need to be?
Getting scale means mapping the landscape. It means asking:
- Am I doing too much?
- What can I delegate?
- What steps can I take today—and which can wait?
This is especially important for leaders who tend to overfunction. Burnout, resentment, and overwhelm are often signs that you’re taking on too much. By scaling the situation, you can reduce the noise and focus on what matters most.
Break big challenges into small, manageable steps. You don’t need to solve everything today. Start with one clear next action. When you know the terrain, the path forward gets easier.
Skill Four: Get Help
This might be the most underused leadership skill of all: asking for help.
You don’t have to go it alone. In fact, you’re not meant to. Whether you’re managing a team, building a business, or navigating personal challenges, collaboration and support are key.
Ask yourself:
- Can I delegate more effectively?
- Do I need a coach or therapist?
- Is it time to hire support?
Getting help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a strategy for success. Whether it’s your partner, your team, or a professional guide, reaching out creates momentum. It also reminds you that you’re part of something bigger, and that you don’t have to carry every burden by yourself.
Skill Five: Get Feedback
Finally, it’s time to get feedback. Not criticism. Not judgment. Feedback.
Feedback helps you understand where you stand and where you can grow. It takes courage, but it’s one of the most effective ways to improve self-confidence in leadership. Why? Because it turns vague fears into concrete insight.
The key is to seek feedback from people who are invested in your growth. Ask:
- Where do you see me succeeding?
- What gaps or blind spots should I be aware of?
- What’s one thing I could do differently to lead more effectively?
The right feedback can validate your strengths while also showing you where to grow. It turns doubt into data—and data into direction.
Conclusion: Confidence Is a Skill—Not a Trait
Confidence in leadership isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build, over and over, through skill, self-awareness, and support.
If you’re in the middle of a confidence crisis right now, know this: you’re not alone, and you’re not stuck. Start by leading with compassion, making space for reflection, gaining perspective, asking for help, and getting feedback.
Your confidence can come back stronger—and so can you.
🔊 Want to go deeper? Learn more about these 5 steps in our podcast: Episode 258: 5 Steps to Overcome a Crisis of Confidence